Perhaps not all women ask the question: loved ones go into the army - how to survive this? Some ladies know how to calmly let go of even the closest people. This does not mean that the person is not dear to them. It’s just that such women seem to abstract themselves from this, trying not to think about the fact that a close man is not nearby. But not everyone manages to survive leaving with such ease. Some ladies think that it is easier for them to go into the army themselves than to send a loved one there. How can they convince themselves that if a man joins the army, it’s not the end of the world?
The guy went into the army: how to survive
First of all, you should never show the guy who is going to serve how bad you are. Of course, you won’t be able to completely restrain your emotions either. But it’s one thing when you allow yourself to cry on his shoulder once. And it’s completely different when you constantly tell him how terrible you feel, how you don’t want to live without him and at the same time cry all the time. Remember that it’s not easy for your friend, boyfriend or brother either. He just understands that nothing can be changed and tries to control himself. And the fact that you constantly throw tantrums and worry spoils his nerves and upsets him. Of course, he understands that it’s not easy for you and will miss you too. And believe me, it will be much more difficult and worse for him than for you. It’s just that your future military man will not have as much free time as you do to cry over photographs and remember every little thing. Therefore, try to control yourself and, first of all, support him.
But even if you find the strength to restrain yourself when your loved one is nearby, how can you not fall into depression after he goes to repay his debt to the Motherland.
So, first of all, do not allow yourself to succumb to nostalgia. The more you listen to your favorite songs, watch movies and walk where you often liked to go, the worse you will feel. Understand that, in the end, no one died and it was only for one year. Of course, it’s hard and bad without the support of a loved one, but this is far from the worst thing that could happen to you. Try to think optimistically and think that your boyfriend (friend, brother) would not want you to practically destroy yourself by being sad. Remember that once upon a time, back in the nineteenth century, people were drafted into the army for as long as twenty-five years. That was really scary. Women of those times could still be understood. And the main thing for you is not to become limp and do something useful.
Of course, we have all heard about what is happening in the modern army and our imagination paints us the most terrible pictures. You should never dwell on it. In the end, if you constantly think about bad things, then they will happen, and if you tune in to the positive, everything will end well. Your dear man is not a fool and will be able to navigate the current conditions. You should not underestimate his capabilities and assume that he will definitely do something wrong, which will entail dire consequences.
Every year hundreds of thousands of young people pass through the army and only a few actually complain about what is happening. Therefore, there is no need to prepare yourself, and even more so, to prepare a future campaigner for the fact that something will definitely happen to him.
During your service, you will be able to call each other from time to time, so it will not be so difficult for you without your loved one. The main thing is to survive the first months, when, most likely, he will not have the opportunity to communicate normally. Then, when he starts calling you, control yourself and don’t whine. Of course, you can say that you miss him and you miss him, but there is no need to throw tantrums again. Understand that he wants to hear family voices, receive a dose of positive energy and energy in order to have the strength to continue serving. And if you bring him only frustration and negativity, then it may happen that the guy stops calling you altogether. Therefore, always control your emotions and do not allow yourself to put your own feelings above others.
When your loved one serves, there is no need to close yourself off from the whole world and turn into a hermit. This will only make things worse for you. Chat with your friends, have fun, travel, relax. You should not sacrifice yourself, arguing approximately with the following phrases: if he cannot have a normal time, then I will give up everything out of a sense of solidarity. A normal person will never appreciate such sacrifices and consider them stupidity on your part. Therefore, behave appropriately and do not go to extremes. There is no need to keep calendars and cross out days. So you will only focus on the fact that your loved one is not around. It's best not to think about time and just live. Mind your own business, get involved in something new, meet people. If you do exactly this, then this year will pass much easier and simpler than you thought. Of course, at first it will not be very easy for you, but over time you will learn to take what is happening philosophically and stop focusing on the fact that the person you love and value is not around.
In the life of every young man there comes a time when he receives a summons to the military registration and enlistment office. For some, this is an important and responsible stage in life, for others it is an inevitable fate, for others it is an undesirable event. But no matter how the guy himself feels about it, for his loved ones this moment inevitably causes a stressful situation. The conscript girls are especially worried about their beloved ones.
What to do if a guy is drafted into the army?
There is no need to panic if you find out that your boyfriend is being drafted into the army or his deferment has expired. Immediately after receiving a summons, no one has the right to take it away. First, the conscript must undergo a test, during which doctors will determine whether his health allows him to serve. If the guy is found to have any diseases, he will be sent for additional examination. Only after this will the members of the military medical commission know which one to give the young man.
Even if a young man is found fit, he still has a chance to be exempt from conscription. If the category “A” or “B” is assigned, the decision of the draft commission can be challenged. It is advisable to do this if you are sure that the young man’s illness will exempt him from the army. If the young man is completely healthy, he must be drafted into the army. All you have to do is decide whether you are ready to wait for him.
Don’t shed tears or throw hysterics: this will make it more difficult for him to go to work. Don’t worry, now military units have very loyal conditions of service, so you can call each other every weekend. Some soldiers are resourceful and leave their phones with them not only on weekends, but on weekdays. In this case, you will be able to correspond and talk at any free time. And since many conscripts remain to serve within their city or region, you will be able to visit your soldier in the military unit.
I don’t want to let me go into the army: what should I do?
How we do this: our lawyers determine the grounds for releasing a conscript from the army, help him properly prepare for a medical examination, and go through conscription events together with the conscript. Independent medical experts are involved in consultations with the client. If a young man has received a summons, lawyers will help him appeal the illegal decision to draft him into the army.
You can find out more about our work on the “” page.
Expert opinion
The Conscript Assistance Service is a federal law firm that helps conscripts obtain a military ID for health reasons. Get a one-time free consultation or trust us to represent your interests at the military commissariat. Read the real stories of conscripts who received a military ID with us in the “” section
Ekaterina Mikheeva, head of the legal department of the Assistance Service for Conscripts
I'm afraid the army will change him
Sometimes conscript girls have doubts whether it is worth waiting for a guy from the army: what if the service changes him, and the soldier returns as a different person? There is no clear answer to this question. Only knowing the character of a young man will help determine how much of an impact being in a military unit will have. For some, the service passes without a trace. It influences others positively. The guy grows up and learns independence, gets used to taking responsibility and making informed decisions.
But we cannot deny the possibility of the appearance of negative character traits. It is human nature to adapt to the crowd. This is especially true for soft or weak-willed people who are not ready to defend their opinion. But even strong-willed soldiers can change their behavior and become rude and withdrawn. To avoid this, try to maintain an open, trusting relationship. Try to be understanding of such changes. And if some acquired manners seem unacceptable to you, talk directly about it with the young man.
What if the guy doesn't want to serve?
Some girls love guys in uniform and dream about how they will wait for their soldier from the army. But the guy may have other plans, and military service has no place in them. What to do in such a situation?
First of all, you need to understand your young man and accept his point of view. All people have different interests, desires and views, so do not try to force your opinion on him. Such an act is ineffective and can only lead to a quarrel. Instead, calmly talk together, find out what caused the reluctance to serve.
If the reason is related to fears, tell us about innovations in the army structure. Talk to his friends who served in the army. A friend's opinion may be authoritative and will change your boyfriend's point of view.
If the reluctance is due to the fact that the young man does not want to spend one year of his life on a useless activity, in his opinion, you can try to explain to him that military service is an honorable duty. But usually such conversations are meaningless, so all you can do is support your young man. He has the right to his own opinion and beliefs. Help him prepare for conscription: undergo examinations before reporting to the military registration and enlistment office and collect the necessary medical documents in order to exercise the right to be exempt from conscription.
With respect to you, Ekaterina Mikheeva, head of the legal department of the Assistance Service for Conscripts.
Answer from Lyubov Danik[active]
people are different, and so are their characters. I waited for mine... but he has changed a lot. He became tougher, swears, if something doesn’t work out, he breaks down. nevertheless, I linked my fate with him.
everyone changes. It depends not only on your MCH what it will become, a lot depends on where it will end up. if you love, support as much as you can, and wait, then they will appreciate you more, because according to statistics, out of 10 girls, 1 is waiting. That’s how it was for me too. I was very proud of myself for not slipping up. and told terrible stories that from the entire unit, only 2 waited. the rest got pregnant from others, wandered around, got married, and the boys in the army who wanted to hang themselves were taken off the noose, those who were sent to the hospital for treatment lost their nerves. but if you decide to wait, then wait not because, as a decent person, he should marry you later, but wait for yourself, test your strength and patience. After all, there are cases when guys abandoned girls, or whores were picked off in the army, unfortunately, this also happens.
Answer from Olya Makarova[guru]
I think that on the contrary, he will miss you very much, and throughout the service he will worry that you will not wait for him. If you wait, he will be happy!
Answer from Karim Aljabali[active]
you need to show that you love him very much and then he will understand that you will wait for him
Answer from Iyplakova Anna[guru]
You better try to wait for him first....
Answer from Booster Rosary[guru]
he will return different and there will be distance - fact 100%%%
Answer from Ўli[guru]
but I think time will tell!
Answer from Alexander[active]
a friend of mine had a story, her boyfriend went into the army, while he was in the army everything was wonderful, they had big plans, but when he returned, he no longer needed her, he began to need friends... draw your own conclusions. ..
Answer from Alexander Shakirov[guru]
He won't get any smarter. He will become arrogant. Don't wait for him. I'm telling you this as a guy. In the army he won't love you much. He will have you there because you are free and he wants to go there. And then you will part. 80%.
Answer from Alb@[guru]
It's hard to say how things will turn out. Maybe he’ll come back and he won’t need you, or maybe just the opposite
Answer from Olesya Zagudenkova[active]
without promising anything. left, let him go, the rest will come.
Answer from Andrea silver[guru]
if he loves you, then there is nothing to worry about
Answer from Vasilina[newbie]
Well, if you love him very much, you will wait. Sometimes you will see each other when he is allowed to go on leave.
In general, only a few are waiting for their boyfriends. girls simply get bored, forget them, and then fall in love again. After this, some guys lose their cool, and a long and serious showdown begins. but to prevent this from happening, it is best to keep in touch constantly, every day. so as not to forget each other. remember together your relationship, everything that has been passed and experienced. after all, distances of love are not a hindrance))
Answer from SNOW-WHITE[guru]
You think correctly, they return from there different. marry those girls. who were waiting for them. And they themselves are walking with others. catching up... Better leave it.
Answer from Irishka[guru]
And mine... Let's not get upset! We will do everything so that this physical distance does not affect the closeness of feelings!
There are telephones, there is ICQ and SMS. In the end, write letters, there will be something to re-read at your leisure, sitting next to you on the couch and drinking hot chocolate!))
Take this as a need to go to work, imagine that before, recruits were taken for 25 years and went on war campaigns for 10 years! And just recently we served for 2 years, but now it’s only a year! It will fly by and you won’t notice it! Come up with something to do to occupy the time that will be freed up due to his absence! And we begin to count the days... My countdown from Monday! Catch up!
Almost every second girl sooner or later is overcome by the question: how to wait for a guy from the army? It’s good if she is in a relationship with someone who has already served. But if a guy is just about to be sent to the army, then a girl should prepare for a year of expectations and melancholy. Although you can make these 365 days productive. And then the year will fly by quickly.
Morale
When a girl sends a guy off to the army, she will, of course, feel sad, lonely and sad. And this is understandable. However, not everything is as bad as it may seem. After all, they will have the opportunity to see the young man!
Firstly, after a couple of weeks, each recruit will have a special event, which happens only once in a man’s life. Therefore, it is very important that people dear to him come to the oath. And naturally, my beloved girl. If she comes, the soldier will definitely appreciate this action. In addition, the girl will be able to provide him with moral support. And once again convince her that she intends to wait for him.
And after the oath they usually give a dismissal. True, on the security of the passport of one of the soldier’s parents. But if the girl goes to the oath with them, then everything will work out. And they can spend the weekend together.
In the future, soldiers are also allowed to take leave. If the girl lives not far from the unit and has the opportunity to come, then they will also be able to see each other. Regular meetings, even short ones, can ease the wait. And it will be easier for both of them to get through this year.
What to do with yourself?
Many girls are more worried not about how to wait for a guy from the army, but about this year. Let's say her main activity is study or work. Or maybe both. But what to do in your free time? After all, previously it was filled with meetings with loved ones and spending time together.
Well, you need to occupy yourself with something as useful as possible. For example, start going to the gym. So that when the guy returns from the army, he sees his prettier beloved and is pleasantly surprised by her external transformation.
You can start learning a foreign language or improve your command of it. Find another part-time job to save money for a vacation with your loved one. And you can stop thinking about a gift on the occasion of your demobilization, because a vacation in some picturesque place will be a good present. If a girl is weak in cooking, then it would be a good idea to start learning how to cook dishes that her husband loves. Upon arrival, she will be able to please the hungry soldier with something tasty. In general, it is better not to miss your loved one, but to get carried away with something interesting and at the same time useful.
News from home
Despite the fact that her beloved is far from the girl, she wants to somehow show her feelings for him. Then you can (even need) write a letter to the army. And it’s better to put as many thoughts as possible on paper. Soldiers have little entertainment in their service, and receiving a large letter is only a joy for them. What should you tell in your newsletter? Everything and about everything. What is happening at home, in your hometown, what changes and news are there. You can talk about your plans, about what the girl decided to do while her husband is away. And of course, you can’t do without pleasant words. You definitely need to write a couple of lines about your feelings and how the girl is looking forward to her soldier and misses him a lot. Moral support is very important.
To boost morale
When sending a letter to the army, it is worth putting a small gift inside. The best option is a small-format joint photograph. It is better to laminate it so that the soldier can carry it in his pocket and not worry about it getting wet if it rains. There is no need to send several large photographs and all sorts of tokens with chains and other souvenirs - ordinary people are not allowed to store personal belongings in their nightstand (and it’s unlikely that they can fit everything listed in their pocket). In addition, if the envelope is too heavy, it may be opened and everything found taken away.
By the way, a parcel can also be sent. You just need to find out in advance what the soldier needs. Of course, shaving foam, shampoo, and something tasty, such as chocolates, will not be superfluous. It’s better to put in more, since soldiers always share everything with their colleagues. You can also put a chevron for the uniform, a buttonhole and initials with his last name on the left chest. This is not issued in the army.
What do experts suggest?
In the question of how to wait for a guy from the army, the advice of a psychologist turns out to be a good help. Some girls find it difficult to cope with this period. And the help turns out to be useful.
First, you need to understand that your loved one is in the army. This is not a children's camp. There are strict rules and regulations there. You need to get used to calls that will only be on weekends, and to the absence of your spouse on social networks. Soldiers are not allowed to use the Internet or telephone during exercises and combat training. Mobile phones are issued to them only on Saturday and Sunday. Therefore, there is no need to bombard your loved one with questions about why he didn’t call, and fight in hysterics over this. It’s not easy for him already. Psychologists advise that it is better to write down in a separate notebook during the week questions that a girl would like to ask her soldier, and news that is important and interesting. Because when the guy finally calls, everything can fly out of your head out of excitement. And there will be little time.
Search for friends in misfortune
Many girls think about only one thing around the clock - how to wait for a guy from the army. The advice of a psychologist assures: if this topic really haunts you, then it’s time to find friends in misfortune. Fortunately, in the age of modern technology this is not difficult. There are many social networks, and there are a lot of communities on them. It is enough to enter the number of the unit in which your loved one serves and go to the group provided by the search engine. There you can communicate, read interesting stories, and mark useful information. In general, you will be able to find an interlocutor in any case. And it will be possible to decide together what to do when the guy is in the army.
What else is worth knowing?
If a girl is thinking about how to wait for a guy from the army, not because she doesn’t know what to do with herself at this time, but because of her own uncertainty about this, then it’s better not to tempt fate. But this happens often. The girl, as they say, has not had enough, she wants to spend every day with a guy, receive gifts and bright emotions, and not be bored and sad. Then there is no need to make false promises and deceive the soldier. After all, he will believe that he is loved and expected. And in general, there is no need to start a relationship if you haven’t worked your way up. Many people need to understand this.
But if a girl sent a guy off to the army and intends to wait, then there is a way to spice up her days without her loved one. You can make your own demobilization calendar. As a rule, at the very top, where the year is usually indicated (2016, 2017, etc.), they write: “Just wait.” And below, instead of months, is the number of days. It starts with the 365th and ends with the first. Every day the girl will be able to cross out with a pen one more day lived without her husband and count how much is left. Many people still decorate the calendar with photos of them together.
In general, if the time has come in a girl’s life when she is thinking about how to wait for a guy from the army, it is better not to feel sad. And plan the year so that it passes quickly and profitably.
Dear, sweet and beautiful girl! All people have their own established duty: in this case, the guy is, first of all, your future defender and defender of his Motherland. And no one has yet abolished universal conscription. Therefore, your first step towards accepting this important event should be the moral support of your loved one (by setting him up in a positive way, you yourself will feel better).
Step 2
You can take upon yourself the organization of the evening on the occasion of your boyfriend's military service. Arrange everything just wonderfully, think about what could leave him with a warm and pleasant impression. So you will find something to do that will distract you from the thought of a long separation, and you will give your guy an amazing surprise that he will often remember with love in his soul)
Step 3
And so. He left. The main thing now is not to panic and not get into loneliness. Your main activities should be study, work, and creative activity! Plunge into them and get lost! But if one evening you are completely overwhelmed by sadness and a feeling of loneliness, then try to take an ordinary piece of paper and write on it as if a letter to your loved one and put all your emotions and feelings in it. And when the guy returns from the army, show him these letters, he will be only glad to understand how dear he is to you and how much you love him. And most importantly: DO NOT CHANGE UNDER ANY CONDITIONS!!! RESPECT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S FEELINGS AND DIGNITY! (and therefore don’t get drunk in any company, so that later “OH!” incidents don’t happen.)
Good luck)))))
